Are you working towards something and frustrated with where you’re at? Do you keep thinking that you should be ‘further along’ than where you currently are?
If the answer is a yes, this blog post is geared towards you.
We human beings are an increasingly impatient race. How often do we find ourselves losing our temper because something isn’t exactly how we envisioned? Let’s see a show of hands….yep thought so, me included. We are so used to getting things on demand that when we work towards something, we demand instant satisfaction so I don’t blame any one of us for getting confused and frustrated when trying to attain something that doesn’t follow the on-demand narrative.
Take losing weight for example. My god, how frustrating is it to lose weight! Especially when, if you’re anything like me, you enjoy getting intimate with cake (mind out of the gutter please, this isn’t American Pie!). You see, that’s just one example of a goal that is anything but on demand and it isn’t a linear path to success either! Lots of ups, downs and nights crying into a tub of ben and jerry’s cookie dough wondering why it’s so hard!
Trust me, I’m struggling with this at the moment. Me and the missus are currently getting things sorted for our move to Singapore, and we thought we had got things sorted so we can relax up to the big day. But, lo-and-behold, more admin duties arise because god forbid, we shouldn’t let Dominos pizza know we’ve changed address!
Right, that’s enough ranting. If you are working towards a goal and feel that you should be making more progress, read my tips below that have been helping me, so hopefully you get value from them too.
1. Realise That Any Action at All Is Better Than No Action.
When water doesn’t flow, it stagnates. Without action, you will too. A little action every day will work wonders towards your goals. It doesn’t have to be a marathon 9-hour session but can be as little as 15-30 minutes, as long as you are consistent (daily, or almost). Who knows what spark might happen in that time? Even if this action leads you to a point where you are no closer to your goal, at least you can learn from that and not do it again. From there, progress is made. Imagine if no action was taken. You wouldn’t have the knowledge acquired by actually putting things into practice. This is especially helpful in exorcising any demons that may haunt you when you believe you’re not making any progress.
2. Set SMART Goals to Ensure You Are On Track.
Ensuring your goals are SMART will give you a greater chance of accomplishing them. Smart stands for:
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Time-bound
If a goal is vague rather than specific, how are you going to fully know you have achieved what you set out to? Make sure to define clear goals with clear milestones to achieve along the way. Each milestone, for example, could be what you specifically want to achieve at the end of each month or by your next birthday.
Is your goal measurable? In other words, can you track your progress? Can you quantify it? For example, if you have a vague goal of I want to sell more stuff. That can’t be properly quantified as a measurable goal. Whereas if your goal is to sell 200 t -shirts by 25th August of that year, that is a quantifiable goal as you have a number to measure your progress against.
Attainability or achievability, is a must-have for goal setting. What’s the point in setting a goal if it’s not attainable? You’re just not going to be motivated enough to go for it if you know you are doomed from the beginning. A silly, unattainable goal (for arguments sake) would be “My goal is to write an entire novel by tomorrow” whereas a more attainable goal would be “To brainstorm some ideas for my novel by 8pm tomorrow and shortlist my favourites” this is much more attainable and specific too (i.e. the deadline), which will lead to the next goal and the next, until the ultimate goal of completing the novel is achieved. Conversely, if a goal is too easily attainable your motivation to achieve will be low, because you won’t have to work hard towards it. Set yourself a goal that is a reasonable challenge.
Realistic. Similar to the above notion of attainability. Is this goal of yours seriously realistic to you personally? Do you have, or can you develop the skillset needed to accomplish what you need? Making goals that are realistic to you as an individual will ensure you stay more focussed and motivated.
Time-bound. Can the goal be achieved within a specific timeframe? Let’s face it, deadlines are a kind of love-hate relationship but I would say we all need them. Deadlines ensure there’s just enough pressure on us to accomplish a task. Without them, we’ll most likely just ignore the work we’re meant to be doing and will spend our waking hours watching fail compilations on YouTube. An example would be “By 10pm tonight I will have completed……….”, write it down if you need to as a reminder. Just make sure that you stick to it.
3. Feeling Like You’re Floundering is Normal.
Things take time. The path to success is hardly ever linear and straight forward. It’s often a roller-coaster with highs, lows, tears and hair pulling. It is completely normal to feel like you are floundering but don’t worry. It’s part of the process to feel like this and believe you’re not progressing. Does a body builder get ripped overnight? Nope. Does a body builder see results after a month? Hhhmmm maybe a tiny bit. Does the body builder see results after 6 months of consistent daily work towards his goal? Yep! You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who attempt to achieve something only to get disheartened when they don’t see immediate success. Keep at it, and you will see progress.
4. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
This one is quite possibly the biggest dream killer, followed very closely by the bonus tip below. We are all on our own individual journey in this world, and yes people come and go along the way. However, to compare your progress to someone else’s is a great exercise in time wasting that serves no one and takes the focus from you and what you are meant to be working towards. So-what if someone already has a travel blog? So-what if Dave from next door has just bought a new Audi? And so-what that someone you know has just passed their driving test first time and you are on your third attempt. Keep your eyes on the prize and keep……. moving………forward.
Bonus Tip: Don’t Listen to the Naysayers.
Ah, other people. Aren’t they just the best! Well, no, not all the time they’re not. Far from it to be honest. Other people can be dream killers. How many times have you heard the story where someone has a passion that they want to pursue, only for their parents to disapprove and coerce them onto something more ‘acceptable’ or how about those who have started a new business venture only to be told it won’t work by people who are jealous and are threatened by other people’s dedication.
Finding people who are supportive can be a challenge too, especially if friends and family are a no-go. Try to search for groups on Facebook or meetup.com etc, or anywhere you believe people congregate, and chat to people who are on a similar journey to you. To bring the body building example back again, you can seek out forums to gain hints, tips and motivation. If your goal is to get the best-looking flowerbed in the region there will be groups online or locally. Seek these people out because knowing that there are other people on a similar journey to you is a relieving feeling and validates your goals that little bit more.
I get it though, caring about what other people think is natural but is something that you have to practice avoiding. The more you care about what other people think, the more insecure you will be in your own judgement and the more your goal will either become THEIR goal or it won’t manifest into anything at all. This will ensure that you don’t progress, and that’s a bad thing.
You need to worry about what YOU are doing. If you choose to think about things negatively then that is what you will get and you will most likely fail in your quest. Practice daily to think about things positively instead, and that you will achieve what you set out to, even if it takes longer than you wanted.
OK, so I’m rambling, again. In essence, what I’m trying to say is, stick to your guns. Work for what you want in this life and as long as you take consistent action, you have a greater chance of success and this will take your mind off thinking if you are far enough along, because you will be more content.
Stay Confident,
Luke.
If you enjoyed reading this blog post, check out my other posts concerning other confidence related matters.